Second from the right and straight on until morning.

>I’ve been hiding at night, sitting on the back patio, trying to figure out how to let go. I’ve never been good at this. Too nostalgic and too in love. What of time? Its just another night. Another way to escape from whats real. Late and later.

I keep hoping when the sun comes up things will look different. If I can just catch its first crest over my back fence. Watch the darkness fade away like someone pulling off so many blankets from hips, that the day will become something I’ve been waiting for.

I found the note you left me. Its in my pocket right now and I’ve been running my fingers over it for days hoping to find your breath in the curve of your lettering.

 

Boo.

>Anxiety comes up and bites me in the ass at the most inoportune times. Like now, when I should be at the lake swimming with friends, and can’t leave my house.

Oh well, I guess. Life is hard and then you die.

Budget.

>
Version 1

Sweat behind my knees
hiding in the bristle of my mustache and
leaking out from between my toes
Sunrise to set
a catharsis.
You were not welcome there.
I was hardly invited.

I’m a bad man
drenched in the sweat of
purgatory

You don’t call me
and
I don’t mind, anymore.
Rather sweat into the threadbare
of the future
looking for the sun through
a forgiveness

When will we stop
driving each other insane?

Version 2

Sweat behind knees
hiding in mustache bristle
leaking from in between toes.
Sunrise to set
a catharsis.
not welcome
hardly invited

Bad man
drenched in purgatory.
No calls,
no mindfulness
Sweat only into threadbare
of future.
Looking for sun
through forgiveness.